Should we talk? I used to say, ‘yeah!’, and I went to different places to meet people and get strangers together conversation salons, on my own dime, in order to talk to each other.
I guess it was writing that took me towards wanting to have these conversations (research! Exploring!), but after I started hearing the same stories over and over, I stopped listening. Then, I quit moving around the world to look for the new. I don’t feel like it.
Now I wonder 2023 means more conversations of a particular variety, instead of simply for the sake of them. At least, that’s how it is, for me. There is importance in sharing, that much is really true, still, for me. As per what this note indicates….
Just as there are consequences to telling, there are consequences to not telling. If someone is afraid of how people might react to a story, and they keep it to themselves, they’ll likely miss out on the enrichment that comes with a back-and-forth conversation. A listener “may give you other things to think about, or may acknowledge that this thing you thought was really bad is actually not a big deal, so you get this richer and more elaborated memory,” [Developmental psychology professor] Monisha Pasupathi says. If you don’t tell, “your memory for that event may be less flexible and give you less chance for growth.” This is basically the premise of talk therapy. Read the full story here >
Do I want to talk? In 2023, I say, it depends. On the meaningfulness of the relationship. The feeling.